In spring 2025 I will open reception for family psychotherapy, couple psychotherapy and individual psychotherapy in Mariestad. I also offer psychotherapy for individuals, couples and families over video link. One call costs 950:-. You can contact me at ulrika.ernvik@gmail.com and we will find a time.

In psychotherapy we build bridges – between the conscious and the unconscious, between feelings, thoughts, needs and behaviors, between past and present. In family therapy, we also build bridges between people – especially between family members. We see the family as a system that affects the individual, and which the individual also affects.

There are several orientations of family psychotherapy. I work mainly from the structural family therapy where we look at how the family is organized and how we can create clear boundaries that provide both space and closeness, the experiential family therapy where we work on practicing new ways of communicating with each other and behaving towards each other, and the narrative family therapy where we explore and process what we are experiencing through stories.

I think it is important to use multiple languages in family therapy – not only words, but also pictures, movements and other creative expressions. This makes it easier for both children and adults to be active in therapy. This is why we explore and create new things by drawing, using shapes, moving and imagining.

It’s not just talking that helps us feel better in our relationships with ourselves and each other. We also need to sleep, eat well, exercise and be outside. In our conversations, we therefore also work on create a sustainable lifestyle, and with movements that calm and balance our autonomic nervous system so that we can better manage emotions and thoughts that might otherwise take over.

We are all created differently, and our brains and nervous systems react differently. Some of us are diagnosed, which is basically a way to help us understand ourselves better. I like to work with families where one or more members have what we call NPD diagnoses, such as autism and ADHD, to help the individual and the whole family better understand each other’s needs and find strategies to create a sustainable family life.

Sometimes it’s good to talk to someone else to get ahead, in your own life or in a relationship. I offer counseling for individuals, couples, families and groups. If I work with a family, I often set up a program where I first meet with the whole family, then the adults together, then the adults separately a couple of times, then the adults together again, and finally the whole family together.

Aim of the conversation

Together we set the goals for the talks. I think that what we often need is deeper and safer relationships

• to ourselves – which is often about understanding myself better, becoming aware of my needs and feelings, being able to see patterns in my life. and being able to see how my history affects me to be who I am today. It is also about seeing and finding my power to change myself and my situation.
• to people we live close to – which is often about seeing what patterns I tend to develop in relationships, what I expect from others, and what signals I send out. It’s about learning new ways to communicate my wants, needs and feelings. It is also about recognizing which people can be safe attachment figures for me, and who I can become a safe attachment figure for, and what it means to be a safe attachment figure. And of course, it’s about boundaries – when should I set boundaries, and what boundaries should I set?
• to a network – what we can also think of as the herd – family, associations, society, to feel that we are part of something where we can contribute with what we are and can.
• to nature and some form of life force. I listen to how each individual and family articulates their existential belonging, and help them build on it.

Theories

I base my psychotherapeutic work on many different theories, including systems theory, attachment theory, Emotional Focused Therapy, interpersonal neurobiology, narrative therapy, theories about boundaries, the importance of listening to feelings, how shame and lies affect us, that there is a reason behind every action, that we all have a small child inside us who occasionally looks out and needs to be paid attention to and that we are actually also affected by what happened in our families in previous generations. I think we all have a great need to tell and understand our life story, and to connect the different parts of our lives. And I am extremely fascinated by how our brains work, and that so much healing in our lives is possible!

To understand patterns and situations, I draw a lot during the conversations. The pictures help us to find new solutions. After each session, I give a task to try at home – it could be a new way of communicating or relating to another person. When I work with families and groups, I have a wide range of activities that I use during the conversation, to help individuals understand each other and find new ways of relating to each other.

Mileage service and kick-off calls

Often we seek help in the form of therapy when there is a crisis. But I really want to encourage regular servicing! Every sensible person takes their car in for a thousand-mile service. Maybe we need to do the same with ourselves and our relationships? Maybe we need to check from time to time that all the parts are connected and working, that there is enough radiator water and oil, that relationships have not been damaged by everyday wear and tear.

During a thousand mile service of your relationship, I help you look at how the relationship looks right now. Are we as close as we want to be? Is there anything we want to develop in our relationship? Do we need to make adjustments in everyday life to nurture our relationship? Are there gaps where unnecessary wear and tear is occurring? Do we need to find new ways of communicating or dealing with conflict? Of course, you can also bring your own questions.

The thousand-mile service of relationships can apply to all kinds of relationships: the couple relationship, the parent-child relationship, my relationship with myself, my relationship with God. A shorter review can be done during one session, but it is best to spread the thousand-mile service over three sessions, so that adjustments can be tested and tried out.

Sometimes you need to summarize what you have been through, where you are in life now, to find a solid foundation to make a starting point to move forward. This may be after a life-changing experience, a life crisis, or before making a decision. You may then need a starting point conversation to find the way forward. Especially for people whose work situation affects the whole family in a special way, such as missionaries and pastors, it can be a good idea to regularly, and not least before the end of the work period, have a joint kick-off meeting as a family.

Safe and Sound Protocol

I am also one of the few in Sweden to offer safe-and-sound sound therapy (SSP), which is based on research on the autonomic nervous system. For more information, please contact me or visit www.integratedlistening.com. In addition to the cost of the calls, there is a cost for being able to listen to the music.

Cost

You and your family decide how many calls you want to have, and how often. In my experience, it is usually good for an individual to have three to five sessions once a week, then take a break for a few weeks, and then continue with another 3-5 sessions. For a family, it can be good to have a series of conversations in different constellations intensively over a couple of weeks, and then similarly take a break of a few weeks to follow up the process.

The sessions are usually 55 minutes, and take place in my office in Mariestad or via video link – then you can sit at home on your own sofa while we talk! I offer appointments both days and evenings. The cost of the call is 950:-.

Please contact me at ulrika.ernvik@gmail.com if you want to make an appointment.