To help us, there are questions and exercises that we can do, individually or together. In my book Breathe with God offers 88 spiritual exercises for all ages, to be used at home, in church, in groups of all kinds – indoors and outdoors, for short periods or whole days.
Christian-based psychotherapy is a systems-theoretical approach to psychotherapy where we focus on the relationship with God and the systems to which I will belong based on my faith. Many people ask for psychotherapy on a Christian basis, where the existential issues are also given space. For those who so wish, we can weave the existential and spiritual dimension into the psychotherapeutic work, and also in supervision and lectures. It is not something I focus on if the wish is not expressed.
In Christian-based psychotherapy, we explore our God story. Neurobiology shows that human beings need to find security in something or someone greater, who holds and carries. For a Christian, God is the one who is ever-present, the safe harbor and the faithful companion. What is my story about God, and what is God’s story about me? How has my relationship with God shaped me? What does my relationship with God look like now? How could my relationship with God be strengthened, and if so, how would it affect me? How can God become a clearer part of my life and my everyday life? How can my story and God’s story become even more intertwined?
We reflect on the Bible’s stories of people searching, longing, loving, fighting – and see how God is present in the midst of it all. We follow Jesus in encounters with people, in struggle and joy, through death to life. And we become aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives to be someone we can breathe with – our co-regulator.
We also explore the impact of the church and parish system. Has it been a healthy or unhealthy context? How has it affected my image of God, of myself and of others? How can I contribute to the creation of healthy contexts, and how can I use the gifts God has given me – the qualities and skills I have – to create safe contexts for myself and others? Sometimes it is helpful to do this work together with a psychotherapist who is familiar with the structures, hierarchies and power systems that can easily emerge in a context where God is drawn in by people as a power factor.
In spiritual direction, we practice our God-awareness – our awareness of God’s presence in our lives. What is God doing in my life? How is God communicating with me? What does God want to say to me? What is my response to God? Through spiritual exercises, we can focus ourselves and together to hear God’s heartbeat, breathe with the Holy Spirit, and see Jesus in the midst of our daily lives.
These conversations can be held individually with a spiritual advisor. We can also have those conversations with each other. With friends. As a couple. In the family. As parents, we can be spiritual guides to our children. We can also have these conversations as a group – inviting each other on our life journeys, or taking a journey together. We may want to ask the questions of what God wants to say to us and what we want to say to God, as a group, as a congregation, as a management team, as an organization.
Spiritual direction is nothing mystical, it is very everyday and concrete. It is about making space. Making space for God in our lives. Making space for reflection. It is about letting life go a little slower so that we have time to see God, and time to respond to his call to us.